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englishmajorhumor:

Weird Al Yankovic—“Word Crimes” (“Blurred Lines” parody)

Disclaimer: Use prescriptivism responsibly; don’t be a jerk to others.

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First things first, I’m surrealist.

Salvador Dali (via tunadeluna)
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  • DC:Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  • Marvel:YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  • DC:We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  • Marvel:HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  • DC:The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  • Marvel:DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  • DC:After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  • Marvel:PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  • DC:We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  • Marvel:NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  • DC:We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  • Marvel:NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  • DC:We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  • Marvel:FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  • DC:Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  • Marvel:NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  • DC:Wait-
  • Marvel:NEW FEMALE THOR
  • DC:I didn't-
  • Marvel:NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Marvel:TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  • Marvel:PEACE
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